The Antipope (Brentford Trilogy, Book 1)

By Robert Rankin

This tale uncovers suburbia's darkest secrets—mostly within the Flying Swan, the place Neville the barman and Archroy, proprietor of 5 magic beans, do conflict with beasts of the occult—and particularly the really disagreeable Pope Alexander VI, the final of the Borgias.

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He had suffered the horrors of a tetanus injection, administered on the sneaky finish via a sadistic nurse, and had obtained fourteen stitches in his thumb. The thumb was once now liberally swathed in bandages and hidden in the overlarge folds of an impressive-looking sling. This sling now rested upon the bar of the Flying Swan. “Caught it within the lathe,” he advised Neville, however the part-time barman suspected differently. “Honest,” insisted Archroy, “nearly took my arm off. ” “Looks beautiful bad,” stated Jim Pooley.

Simply puzzled, no longer a lot of curiosity ever will get via you. ” “You been barred from the Swan then, Omally? ” “Hardly that, simply concept we’d pop in as we have been passing, exchange turns out a bit slack. ” He indicated the empty bar. “It’s early but. ” It used to be renowned to all that Jack’s licensing hours have been versatile; few entered his institution until eventually the hostelries they formerly frequented have been remaining up their doorways. “We had a Lascar in final week,” acknowledged Jack suffering over with the 1st of the 4 pints.

Hi lads, how’s company? ” John snatched the plan from the bar most sensible and crumpled it into his jacket. “Ah, oh …” stated his brother, “good day Jim and the way is your self? ” “For truth,” Pooley spoke back, “I am now not a good guy. lately i've been celebration to occasions that have heavily broken my well-being. yet allow us to now not speak of me, how is company? I listen that you're at the up and up, gained a wide agreement I heard. ” the 2 brothers stared at one another after which at Pooley. “Not us,” stated one. “Haven’t had a chew in weeks,” acknowledged the opposite.

There has been an educated nodding as Omally endured, “There’s a king’s ransom available in that video game if a fellow has the best way of it. ” Norman, who were listening and was once at present among ventures, felt a surprising surge of remorse that he had by no means realized to swim. “It by no means rains however it pours,” he stated, which gave so much to suspect that he used to be having an concept. “You don’t swim in any respect do you, Norman? ” requested the astute Omally, sensing cash within the air. “Sadly no,” acknowledged Norman, “but I wade. ” With those portentous phrases he left the saloon bar.

You, sir, are an ignorant Irish blaggard,” quoth he, elevating a shaky fist to strike Omally. “Soap was once telling me that alien craft are manifestations of the static souls of bygone civilizations,” stated Neville, who was once not just happy that the topic of Cowboy evening were forgotten yet used to be additionally an exceptional stirrer. “I’ve heard that little gem on a couple of occasion,” acknowledged John, “but you and that i be aware of that there's a logical and easy cause of that exact phenomenon. ” “There is?

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